November 29, 1994
It's funny how sometimes you can be more honest
with strangers than those you are close to.
Some people go to confession. I went to the
Wetlands.
So anyway, there was a night, I was trying
to recover from a bad day...that lasted five
years.
I was coming out of the Wetlands...I think
it's down on Hudson street. It was about 2
or 3 in the morning on a cool fall night.
I was walking to my car I met two black women
standing on the street.
One was in her early thirties, tall and thin.
She had a short dress on, but she didn't look
sleazy. She could've went to church in it.
The other was a young girl who I later found
out had just turned 19. She was dressed in
homegirl clothes. Baggy jeans and an oversized
sweatshirt. She had nappy hair and a little
gap in her front teeth, but her face was really
beautiful.
As I passed the older of the two ask me if
I wanted a date. I said "no" but
we struck up a conversation. I told her I
was writer and interested in learning about
their lifestyle.
After chatting awhile she asked if they could
go sit in my car so they could get warm. We
drove around the city a bit with the heater
running. I soon found out that the younger
girl was thinking of becoming a prostitute
and the older woman was showing her the ropes.
The younger girl sat in the back smiling nervously.
The older one was very excited about the prospect
of being a mentor. "This is so sweet,
I remember my first night," she said,
remembering fondly.
Suddenly the older woman turned to me and
said, "so are you going to write a book
about me?" From there, as a means of
showing off she began to tell the younger
woman the ropes of the business. "Don't
date drunks. They never come. Always use a
condemn. It's not your job to make them come.
You're just paid to make them feel good."
The younger woman sat in the back nodding like a self conscious schoolgirl.
The older woman was really beginning to enjoy
the teacher role and took great pride in her
work and knowledge of the business.
To cap off the girl's lesson the older woman
offered to give me a free blow job to demonstrate
her skills to her pupil. Before long she was
down on me in the front seat as we sat parked
on 10th Avenue. I looked into the back seat
to see how the younger girl was taking all
of this.
When I looked at her she smiled at me sheepishly.
Embarrassed and frightened, her face had a
deep sadness written on it. Without thinking
I reached into the back seat and took her
hand in mind.
In the front seat the older woman was sucking
me, in the back the young woman held my hand.
My own life was in shambles and it had been
awhile since I felt human contact, and all
that I remember is how wonderful, warm and
soft that girl's hand felt in mind. I was
completely oblivious to the blow job because
all that I could think about is how wonderful
her hand felt. Soon I began to go limp because
I was so focused on the warmth of her hand.
I looked back and the girl had my hand held
close to her face and was staring out the
car window with a far away look in her eyes.
A wave of emotion washed over me. I tried
to pull myself away from the woman in the
front to get her to stop but she became determined
to make me come.
The teacher could not lose face by failing
in front of her pupil. She sucked harder and
began moaning, "I love hard cocks, I
love it when they come in my mouth."
I hate that kind of fake seduction and I became
even limper. I could feel the young woman
in the back squeezing my hand tightly. I turned
to the back seat again and she was looking
at me with her eyes moist and a pleading expression
on her face.
In a instant I blurted out "stop,"
letting go of her hand and pushing the woman
in the front away from me. All three of us
sat there dazed for a second. The older woman
had no idea what had passed between the girl
and I. After we regained our composure I drove
them back and dropped them off.
As we drove I felt desperate to say something
to the younger woman. Finally as they got
out the car I grabbed her hand and ask her
to see me again. We agreed to meet the next
night.
On my drive home I felt elated. I felt so
happy to be seeing the girl. I wanted to protect
her, and save her from her fate. I couldn't
wait for tomorrow to come.
The next morning when I awoke I thought I
must be crazy. I didn't need this in my life.
Another troubled soul to get entangled with.
I never went to meet her and I never saw her
again. Tonight though I can't help wondering
where she is, and how our lives might have
changed if I hadn't backed away.
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