Once put on time, far far away there was a
rock that floated in space. This rock would
spin in little circle and float in bigger
circles that floated in even bigger circles
and those in yet bigger circles and so on
and so on forever and ever. It was so pretty
to see.
Now on this rock there lived millions and millions of
organisms. Now a certain type of organism, that we
shall call 'brand X' organism, were the smartest and
strongest and they ruled all the other organisms on
the floating rock.
The brand X organisms were so successful that they
multiplied and multiplied and soon there was no space
left on the floating rock for them to multiply
further. (Note: multiplying is a favorite pastime of
brand X organisms.) Because of this the organisms
would gather themselves together into groups and fight
other groups for space to live on the floating rock.
When the organisms gathered into groups they all began
to live different ways of life, with governments and
social structures all their own. To keep the battles
for living space hot the government leaders would keep
the organisms in the group turned against the others
by making rude insults about the other group's leaders
and way of living.
At this time the brand X organisms began to build
great transportation devices so they could travel off
the rock and go into space to search for other
floating rocks to live on. One very wise brand X
organism looked at his race, how they were gathered
into groups fighting each other, and racing into space
to search for other rocks to live on. He thought that
in space they might meet other more powerful organisms
that would want to fight them for their own floating
rock space. He decided that all the brand organisms
should quit fighting among themselves and gather
together under one leader so they would be organized
to fight against other organism in space that might
want to take away their floating rock.
So the wise organism spoke to his people saying "Yea,
we must gather ourselves together and be one strong
force under one government and one leader." But the
brand X organism cried out saying "But who shall be
our leader and which government and social structure
shall we live under?"
Immediately the brand X organisms all began fighting
among themselves, each saying that his group's should
be the one chosen for all the rest to live under. To
try to come to a decision on this important issue the
wise organism called together a council of the wisest
organisms to try to decide which government would be
best for them all to live under. Unfortunately, the
wise organisms also all disagreed on which government
they should all live under, and try as they might they
could not agree on any single answer.
After 40 days and 40 nights of nonstop discussion
(except for a few required replication breaks)
the council of wise organisms said among themselves,
"If we cannot find an answer through discussion
we should conduct an experiment to find an
answer. Let each group of organism live under
a different government and we will study them
and make modifications until we can decide
which will be best for us all to live under."
So the experiment was set up and each group of X
organisms had a different government and one member of
the wise council was placed as the leader of each
group. So the effectiveness of each government could
be constantly monitored each organism had a very
special two-way radio implanted in its brain.
Now the original great wise organism stayed and
gathered information being sent from the very special
brain implanted radios that sent a constant flow of
data on how happy and productive the members of each
society were. So that the organisms always knew how
the experiment was developing, the wise organism sent
back statistics to the other organisms
on their brain implanted radios.
Over the years the societies evolved with
various degrees of effectiveness. Meanwhile
the wise organism watched and studied. Until
one day the great wise organism was unexpectedly
run over and terminated by a mass transportation
device! Now there was no one to gather information
and send statistics back to the other organisms.
All day long they heard nothing but static
from their very special brain implanted radios.
Soon the brand X organisms forgot all about the
experiment and became very involved in making their
own governments work. Most became convinced that their
government was most suitable for the whole population
to live under, regardless of whether or not is was
most effective, productive, and produced the happiest
organisms. It wasn't long before they fell back into
their instinctual habit of fighting each other for
living space, except now they were fighting over which
government they should live under.
As time passed, there developed so much hatred, fear,
violence, and war that life on the floating rock
became very unpleasant. In fact, it became so
unpleasant that 90% of the population joined a
fanatical religious organization and annihilated
themselves by drinking poisoned placenta juice. The
other 10% became very depressed and didn't live
happily ever after.
So the next time you hear static in your head,
remember the moral of this story is...?
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